For some years now I have been immersed in "consciousness work", what my good friend David Favor calls Wetware Hacking. For me this is operating at peak performance physically, emotionally, and mentally all day every day. How do we do this? I use a number of different techniques I have learned over time that have helped me through what has seemed to be some of the toughest transitions in my life. The single most important tool I have used to this day is to be aware of how I feel and continually feel "better", while being keenly aware of my internal and external dialog. Here is a very simple way to get started. First things first, breathe and let whatever you feel be ok. Don't make it wrong, don't judge it, just let it flow through you like water pouring over your body. Acknowledge how you feel and just notice.
This is where being the observer and the participant is really helpful. Notice the situation, and participate, and don't let your emotions take you over. Next notice, just notice what you are telling yourself about the situation and check in to see if this is really true and how you feel. I'll give you an example. Say I work with Joe. In my "opinion", Joe isn't a very good worker. He never keeps his promise, or does what he says he is going to do. I experience anger when Joe doesn't complete his tasks, when he doesn't follow through on what he says he is going to do. Now if I let the Joe be my object of anger, will I accomplish anything? In my opinion, no. In this situation my sole purpose is to breathe fully and deeply. As I breathe fully and deeply and I realize I feel tension in my body, I breathe into the areas where I feel tense. I expand into what seems impossible to expand into. Now what I do is understand the situation. Really what I am doing now is allowing my anger to get bigger, and feel my feelings fully.
If I can love what I feel, no one can do anything to me or "make me feel anything". I know it sounds a little cliche, and I am responsible for everything in my life on some level, and it is my divine duty to resurrect my experience and create my own personal heaven with everything I will love to experience, be, and see in my life. I know in this situation if I take my attention off of Joe and simple focus on what I love and create what I am here to create, order is restored.
Coming back to answer Mark's question... The way I stay in the game, the way I stay moving forward in my own personal life is by allowing myself to be coached, to receive help from others. I still have coaches and Mentors I receive coaching from when required and I am very grateful for what I gain from my experience with them. It also seems like a logical cycle of receiving and giving, where I keep myself "clean" and in giving mode simple by allowing myself to receive. I guess this is just the way the world works.